A Winter's Tale
by tracyh
Summary: A retitled version of A Christmas Story, my first submitted fanfic. Lily Evans 7th year, just before Christmas. James Potter is ignoring her and Lily wants to know why. ONESHOT. Please r 'n' r


**A Winter's Tale**

Disclaimer: Shucks, I still don't own Harry Potter, JK just lets me borrow her characters.

Lily Evans, Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was alone in the Gryffindor Common Room one December evening. The wind was howling outside occasionally making the windows of the Common Room rattle ominously and snow was falling heavily, covering the castle grounds in an icy layer of whiteness.

Lily was curled up by the fire reading a book, or at least that's what she was trying to do. Every now and then she would glance up from her reading and look up at the portrait hole as students came through on their way to the dormitories. Lily sat, book in one hand, the other hand supporting her chin before reaching down to pull her sweater tighter around herself against the cold, or periodically moving a strand of her dark red hair away from her eyes. The very action stirred a memory in Lily and she smothered a smile. 'I'll be playing Quidditch next if this carries on. It's _his_ fault' she thought, before attempting to read another paragraph of her book. However, after reading the same line five times in a row, Lily put the book down, any further pretence of reading - because she knew she _was_ just pretending – forgotten as thoughts of 'him' went through her mind.

'_He_' was James Potter, Hogwarts Head Boy, Quidditch Chaser and, with his friends, known as the Marauders, serial prankster. Lily groaned inwardly as memories of some of his pranks went through her mind, like the day in fifth year he turned a particularly obnoxious Slytherin upside down and pulled his trousers down with his wand, in front of practically the whole school. Lily had been furious with him at the time – at least for the most part. A bit of her couldn't help but think that the Slytherin in question, Severus Snape, deserved some of Potter's contempt, not that she would ever admit that to anyone – especially Potter.

It wasn't just the pranks. James Potter also took a particular joy in following Lily around. Almost from the moment they met in the first year he had pestered, teased and tormented, always showing off, playing with his hair, trying to make it look like he'd just stepped off his broom, and worse, asking the same question at least ten times a day, 'Will you go out with me?'. James Potter had been trying for years to get Lily Evans to go to Hogsmeade with him, and had met with constant refusals. If anything that just encouraged him. Lily thought his pursuit of her had peaked in the third year when he practically stalked her. She was wrong.

The stalking stopped eventually, but the pestering didn't. Even now, in the seventh and final year of her Hogwarts education, Lily Evans had still not given in. Not that Potter gave her a chance to refuse any more.

At the beginning of the seventh year two strange things happened. Firstly James Potter was made Head Boy, in spite of never having been a prefect, and then he started to ignore Lily Evans. At first it was a relief. Lily felt able to go about her business freely, knowing that Potter was no longer making a nuisance of himself. When Lily heard he was Head Boy she had been horrified at the thought of doing patrols with him, but this had never happened. Somehow Potter fixed things so that he either patrolled alone, or with Remus Lupin, a prefect and one of Potter's closest friends. In previous years sharing classes with Potter had been an ordeal, with him constantly watching Lily's every move, but now he ignored her in classes, allowing her to work in peace. If she encountered him in the Common Room he would nod politely before going back to his friends.

Lily was beginning to quite like this change when Potter suddenly changed again and started to avoid acknowledging Lily at all, even turning his back on her at times, or walking out of the Common Room if she entered it. Lily was unnerved by this at first, wondering what he was up to, but as the days and then weeks went by and nothing happened, she started to feel something else. At first she argued with herself about her change of heart. But then she was forced to acknowledge the truth. In avoiding her James Potter had achieved what he had been trying to do for years. Lily Evans had developed altogether different feelings for her old enemy – and he didn't spend enough time with her to know!

Lily Evans's thoughts of James Potter were cut short by a sudden noise from the portrait hole. She looked up quickly to find the object of her thoughts bursting into the Common Room, not accompanied by his friends the Marauders, otherwise known as Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, but alone.

James Potter burst through the portrait hole of the Gryffindor Common Room and rubbed a hand through his slightly damp hair before rubbing his hands together to warm them. He had been outside in the grounds, practising Quidditch when the snow had become too thick to fly any more. He was freezing and moved towards the fire that glowed brightly and warmed the room when a movement caught his eye. He took his glasses off to wipe them of the mist that clouded the lenses as the heat from the fire hit the cold glass, before he replaced them in front of his hazel eyes and looked across to the source of the movement. His insides squirmed as his eyes met those of Lily Evans, in James Potter's opinion Hogwarts most beautiful student. James warm hazel eyes met Lily's deep emerald eyes just for an instant before he stepped back, further from the fire. 'I…I'll come back later' his voice shook a little as he spoke, backing towards the portrait hole again. 'I can come back later, when I won't disturb you' he said, trying to sound casual, and not doing it very well. Lily looked up at him from where she sat, in an easy chair on one side of the fireplace. 'No, it's alright…I can see you're cold, come and sit by the fire for a while'. She indicated to an empty seat on the other side of the fireplace.

James Potter's heart began to race, his throat constricted, making it harder for him to breathe properly. His eyes met Lily's again for a moment. He shuddered inwardly at how close she was; just a couple of feet separated them. He knew that for most of the time he had been at Hogwarts he would've given anything to be in this exact position, alone with Lily Evans who he had loved almost from the moment he first saw her on his very first day at school, nearly seven years ago.

He would have loved it in the third year when he took to following her everywhere. He remembered how he would just go around the castle, following Lily's every move, just so that he could watch her, her long red hair swishing behind her as she moved gracefully along, her eyes shining as she saw familiar faces of her friends, her lips breaking into a smile – until she realised he was with her again, and she would turn, her eyes blazing and yell 'GET LOST POTTER, YOU ARROGANT PIG!'. After many months of this, James finally got the message, and stopped following her everywhere, instead, he grabbed at every chance to be around her he could, always desperate to impress, always asking her out, just in case she found it within herself to give in.

She still hadn't given in, and now, in this final year at school for both of them, it looked like she never would. Realising this fact had awakened James to the reality of his situation, Lily Evans would never like him, let alone anything else, and so he decided early in the year to avoid her as much as he could. At first he would nod in acknowledgment of her if he saw her, but even this was too much for him, and he began to ignore her altogether, knowing that if he could just manage this, he could get through the year before he left and finally had to face never seeing her again. But now she was here, alone with him, and she appeared to want him to stay.

Lily was still gesturing to the empty seat on the other side of the fireplace. James shook himself and spoke again, 'No, really, I….I'm warmer now, I'll come back….I've got things to do' and he turned around, his back to the fireplace, and also to Lily. He took a step towards the portrait hole but stopped in his tracks as Lily cleared her throat and then spoke. 'James, why are you trying to avoid me?' her voice sounded anxious. James flinched and hunched his shoulders against the worry in her voice. She sounded hurt. 'I….I'm not trying to avoid you….I told you, I've got things to do' he replied as his heart pounded in his chest, and sweat gathered on his brow, which he wiped away with the back of a shaking hand. His mind registered the use of his first name, but he knew he dare not question it. If he did, he knew that would keep him here, alone with her, and he couldn't do that. He heard a movement and knew that Lily must have stood. His heart pounded even more. 'You are avoiding me James' Lily insisted. 'You _are _avoiding me and I want to know why'. Lily's tone was firm and insistent. James's insides lurched painfully.

James shuddered as he sensed that Lily had moved closer to him. He knew that he had always had an uncanny ability to sense where she was, and it was working well tonight, much to his discomfort. He tried to gather himself, to speak to her calmly. 'I…I've told you….I'm not avoiding you' he tried, almost sounding desperate in his attempt to convince her. He sensed her step up right behind him, and caught his breath at her nearness. She spoke again, her voice calm, almost soothing, 'I don't believe you James. Please, tell me what I've done to make you avoid me, and I'll do something about it'. James sighed and swallowed hard, 'It isn't you, it's me, I…..' his voice broken off suddenly. 'What, James?' Lily asked, her voice steady, James swallowed again. 'It's nothing, really, nothing you need to worry about'. James heard a deep sigh from Lily, 'But I am worried James, you used to follow me around all the time, but now you won't stay in the same room as me unless it's a class, and I want to know what I've done…..what I've done to make you hate me all of a sudden.'

In spite of herself, Lily could feel a lump beginning to build in her throat, but before she could think about it too much, she found herself face to face with the young man she was speaking to. He had turned on his heel and was staring at her, his eyes wide. 'Hate you? What on earth makes you think I hate you?' he asked incredulously. Lily shivered, 'W – well, you've hardly said two words to me all year, you won't even look at me any more, and you can't seem to be able to stand being in the same room as me, and you've fixed things so that you don't even have to do patrols with me, so you must hate me, mustn't you?' she cried, desperate to hold the tears that were threatening to fall. James Potter looked down on the redhead who was watching him so earnestly, and his insides lurched again. 'Lily…..I…..I don't hate you, I could never hate you, I….' 'So why are you avoiding me then?' Lily interrupted.

James Potter gazed down at the beautiful girl, no, the woman, who was standing in front of him and knew he was finished. He knew that he would never be happy again because she had made him fall hopelessly in love with her, and she didn't even realise she had caused his downfall. He knew that she didn't care for him, but he knew that unless he confessed he was done for. She would find out in the end, she had ways of finding out things you didn't want her to know, and if she found out from someone else she would be angry, and he would die of embarrassment. James took a steadying breath before he found his voice again. 'OK, you win, I am avoiding you, I have been all year'. Lily Evans nodded, 'Thank you, but I want to know why, what have I done to make you avoid me? I know I used to get angry with you when you pestered me, but that doesn't mean I wanted you to ignore me altogether, so what have I done to make you do that?'

James Potter sighed heavily, 'You…..' he couldn't find the words. Lily groaned, 'James please, just tell me!' her voice was almost pleading. James Potter shuddered and took a deep breath. 'Lily do you realise you've been calling me James all the time I've been in here, not Potter?' he was trying to give himself time to think about what to say. Lily stared at him, seeming unsure of his point, and then the realisation dawned. 'Yes…..yes, I suppose I have. And you've been calling me Lily, not Evans, it's quite civilised of us, isn't it?' Lily smiled lightly, and James's heart gave another painful twist. He smothered this by smiling softly back. 'Yes, and it's nice too, I like it' he blurted, before mentally punishing himself for this admission. Lily smiled widely, 'So do I James'.

James sighed with relief and began to think that telling her the truth might not be so bad. 'Lily, do you really want me to tell you why I've been avoiding you?' he felt unsure of himself. Lily nodded, her face anxious, 'Yes please, tell me' she said softly. James Potter braced himself. He looked down into Lily Evans eyes, then without thinking about it, he reached out and clasped her hand, not even realising that she didn't pull it, or herself, away from him. He stepped closer to her. 'Lily I decided to stay away from you this year because I realised I've been an idiot to you all along and I'm really sorry'. Lily Evans heart thumped so hard she thought James might hear it. 'That's OK, to be honest as soon as you stopped paying attention to me I suddenly realised that I…..' she stopped herself before she could say any more. She had realised from the moment he burst into the room how much she had missed him. James eyes looked into hers, 'You realised what, Lily?' he asked, not certain he would like the answer. Lily stepped closer, they still held hands, and now just a few inches parted them. 'I realised that I missed you', Lily breathed as she spoke.

Hope flared inside James Potter, he knew he had to take a chance and tell her the truth. He stepped ever closer, removing the space between them. Lily watched his face intently. She appeared to be holding her breath. James had to swallow the lump that gathered in his throat as he looked into her beautiful eyes. He sighed and then took a leap of faith. 'Lily, I love you. I've stayed away from you this year because I love you, and I can't stand to be near you knowing that this is our last year and that when it's over I'll never see you again, and it's all my fault because I behaved like an idiot and made you hate me' the words rushed out of James making him breathless.

Lily's mouth dropped open in a gape. She quickly gathered her thoughts. 'You mean it? You love me?' she asked after a long moment. James nodded, continuing to hold her gaze. 'Yes I mean it, I love you, I've always loved you, even when I was still being an idiot I loved you'. Lily shook her head uncertainly. 'I thought you were playing around, trying to make me angry at you. I thought you didn't like me, that you even hated me, how do I know you really mean it, how do I know you love me?'

James shook his own head. 'I never played around where you are concerned. I was always deadly serious about you, even if I didn't show it very well. I never hated you….I could never hate you. I love you Lily Evans, I always have.' James knew he had to tell her how he felt, show her the depth of his feelings for her. He had to convince her he was telling the truth. He looked into her eyes so deeply it was as if he was trying to reach into her soul. He cleared his throat softly before going on. 'I don't know how to convince you Lily,except to say that I love you, and I'd do anything for you. If you asked me to I'd give up Quidditch. If you asked me I'd live like a Muggle and never pick up a wand again. Lily I love you so much I'd lay down my life for you'.

Lily's heart turned over in her chest. The intensity of James's gaze on her made her feel dizzy. She felt like she was floating somewhere, losing herself in his eyes, but she had to be sure. She swallowed hard and looked at him seriously. 'James if I asked you, would you give up hexing people for me, even Snape?' James Potter's eyes widened in horror, 'Lily you know Snape and I have never…..' but at a sudden look of irritation in her eyes he stopped. Lily looked at him intently. 'Well, would you?' she asked. James Potter looked down at the hand still clasped in his and sighed; he knew he couldn't give this up, ever. 'Yes, I would give up hexing people, even Snape. I love you, I mean it'.

Lily Evans suppressed an urge to throw herself into James Potter's arms. Instead she smiled gently. 'Well I am asking you to give up hexing people, but as for Snape, just try, just try for me, will you?'

James Potter nodded dumbly, words failing him for an instant. Then he realised Lily was speaking again. 'I've missed you James, I know we have classes together, but I've missed you talking to me. I've even missed you pestering me to go out with you for goodness sake!' she smiled widely before becoming more serious. 'I hate the idea of not seeing you after this year too.' She looked down on the hand that was now gripping hers so tightly it almost hurt. The realisation of what Lily Evans was saying began to dawn on James Potter, but he needed her to tell him. He gripped her hand in his tighter than ever as he said the words. 'Lily what are you trying to tell me? How do you really feel about me?' he held his breath as he finished. To his amazement Lily loosened her grip on his hand, slipped her arms around his neck and stepped even closer to him. He moved as if on instinct alone and placed his arms around her waist, his heart racing wildly. Lily looked into his eyes and sighed, 'I'm trying to tell you…..I love you too James Potter'. Then she pulled him into a lingering kiss.

After several long moments James Potter pulled away from the kiss that had taken him by surprise. He stared at Lily Evans in amazement. 'Lily….you…I mean….I….' he couldn't find the words again. His heart was ready to burst. He mentally shook himself. 'Lily you don't have to say that, not if you don't mean it, I….'

Lily Evans held James firmly in her arms again, pulling him as close as possible, her head resting over his pounding heart, its rhythm matching her own. She smiled happily. 'I do mean it James, I swear, I mean every word. When you started to avoid me, at first I thought I was relieved, but then I realised I missed you. I really wanted you to talk to me, or even just do patrol with me, or anything. Anything would have been better than you ignoring me and making me miss you so much. I don't care about what happened in the past, that's finished with. I don't care about what you've done in the past. I wasn't exactly perfect either….' James opened his mouth to contradict, but Lily stopped him, lifting her head from his chest and looking him in the eyes again. 'No James, I'm not perfect, I never was, I could've stopped arguing with you ages ago, or thanked you for sticking up for me against Snape, even if I didn't like your methods….' James grinned wickedly for a moment, as Lily went on. 'But I didn't, I was every bit as bad as you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for refusing you for so long, I'm sorry for every time I've fought with you, I'm sorry for….'

Lily broke off as James grinned broadly. 'Lily' he said simply, 'What?' Lily replied, shaking slightly. James Potter pulled Lily Evans even closer into his arms, 'Shut up apologising and kiss me again, will you?' So Lily Evans did just that, and this time James Potter didn't pull away.


End file.
